Here some general stuff and how to have fun as a lead plus a few more tips.
In West Coast Swing your supposed to be smooth, level and styling. Don't continuously run around your partner, get off balance, stoop. A good way to think of this is to stay level like there's a level in your chest that detects tilt and vertical movement. Use your feet and stay balanced, sink into the floor..
If you find a favorite dancer, don't be afraid to ask them to dance over and over if they like dancing with you. Also, don't be afraid to not ask dancers that you don't have a much fun with. Not everyone is the perfect dance floor match. It's not a dig, it's a fact and it's ok :-) It happens at all levels. Don't fret about it, just enjoy your favorite partners.
You'll be corrected and sometimes you'll want to correct her. The best plan it to just be sensitive to others feelings and dont' do this. It's best to smile and just move on. If the gal wants help, that's different, but let her come to you. Restated, don't start tossing out fix it advice unless she specifically ASKS you for it!!
Sorry, you weren't born with dance shoes on, Take lessons. It's the **ONLY** way to learn to be a really good lead. Take lessons from more than one instructor and take privates once a month if or more if possible. Trust me, it's the only way. Dance is one of those things that is more than just moving, it involves moving the BEST way and the way the body looks the best too. Another point; When you ski it's you and the mountian but when you dance, it's you AND someone else. You need a common language and style. Lessons give you that.
If you're working on 800 different ideas when you dancing you'll just crash. Like a golfer needs to just focus on coming through the ball, or a tennis player need to focus on that moment of contact, so in dance, you need to keep it simple sometimes. Make the fundamentals something you just DO, you don't have time to think about them. So, if you do to much, stop it and go back to SIMPLE VARIATIONS of basic patterns. You'll have more fun and be less stressed out. Forget that fancy 20 count pattern you learned in that group lesson for now. You can goof around with that when your tired of other stuff.
Just accept that things aren't going so great. Stop dancing. WATCH other dancers. Talk with other dancers. Then ask that follow that you feel so safe with to dance and make it your last dance, or maybe, you'll find you actually want to stay. Leave because your DONE dancing or you run out of dancers. Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes a little conversation can not only be fun but you could get some great ideas to make your dance better! Most important remember, it's only today, tomorrow is always different!
You'll hear fantastic ideas from lots of sources. Sometime the same idea presented in a different way makes sense. Always be open to ways to improve your dance. However, if you want more clarification of any of these concepts, toss me an e-mail.